The Boy who Lived as a Muggle
by The Lady of Sorrow
Summary: Harry is expelled and his wand is snapped. On the night of the hearing, Hermione and Harry confess their love. Harry struggles to keep as much of a magical life as possible living as a muggle.
1. Guilty

**PROLOUGE:** This story takes place right after Harry's "hearing" in the fifth book. However, the hearing took quite a different turn in our story. The "jury" decided that he was guilty, and destroyed his wand. He is also expelled from Hogwarts.

**The Boy who Lived as a Muggle **

_Guilty_

"Harry? Are you okay?" I heard her voice call. She was worried about me, I knew it must be bad for Hermione and Ron but I really couldn't take thinking about them. How they would live perfectly happy, magical lives. Without me.

My arms were cramped from sitting here so long, so I slowly stood up and flexed them. There was no telling how much time I had spent sitting there, on the edge of the bath, crying. I knew my life was over. It was just a matter of time until Lord Voldemort found out that I had lost all rights to my magical powers and descended upon me to finish me off. I walked over to the sink, and looked at myself in the antique mirror of Number 12. It had been awhile since I stopped crying so the redness had, for the most part, faded from my tear streaked face. In vain, I attempted to comb down my hair.

"Harry? I'm really starting to get worried," I heard her say weakly. From what it sounded like, I think that she sat down and slumped against the door. I kneeled beside the door and, in one swift motion, opened the door and caught her as she fell backwards. My arms came right below her shoulders, right above her breasts. She was so warm. I snuggled my face into her hair and started to cry again.

"Hermione, I don't know how I'm going to live without you. I know that I never really told you but I really do love you," I sobbed. She turned around in my arms and hugged me back, and this time her face was in my neck. I could feel the tears on her cheeks as she moved against me. One of her hands was on the other side of my neck, shaking. I wrapped my arm around her. She felt so small. Afraid. She was never like this before. She let out a tiny sob. She whispered, "I love you too." We sat there like that for a long time, not saying a single word. I'll cherish that moment the rest of my life.

"Hermione?" I asked.

"Yeah?" she said quietly.

"Your hair smells really good," I said with a simile, for the first time all day. She smiled first, and then began to laugh.

"We better get to bed," Hermione said. She didn't move.

"I know. But what if I have to leave in the morning? What if this is the last time I ever see you?" I asked, concerned.

She pulled out of my arms and sat strait up, facing me. "When you told me that you loved me, how did you mean it?"

I stared at her blankly. Did she feel a different love for me than I felt for her? Did I just embarrass myself? "I meant… like… a lover loves."

A simile spread across her face. "Harry, this may seem really out-of-character for me but why don't you stay in my room tonight? With me? We won't do anything… bad. I think you might be right, though, about us never being able to see each other again," she said quickly. I stared at her, stunned. She was always one to follow every single rule set, and even the ones not set. This was not expected of them from the adults, so a rule about it had not been set.

"Really?" I said. It was all I could say, I was so shocked. She nodded. "Okay. But why don't you stay in my room instead so that I would be the one that gets in trouble? Wouldn't want to mess up your perfect record."

She laughed. "Okay. I'll be there in a minute." We both got up, she went down the hall to her room, and I went up it to mine. As I entered, Hedwig gave an apologetic coo. I realized that I hadn't been in here since the hearing. I walked over to her and opened the door. She leapt onto my shoulder and gave my ear a nibble before soaring off into the night.

As I watched her fly away, that was the first time that I truly grasped how much my life was going to change. Now that I thought about it, there were only two things in the world that I loved, Hogwarts and Hermione. Now, I might not be able to have either of them. I might be able to care for Hedwig. Probably would not be allowed to stay in contact with Ron, Hagrid, Sirius, anybody else from the magical world.

I crossed the room and sat down on my bed across from the open window. It was a cool summer night out there. I glanced at the clock on my left. It was 3:33.

I heard a soft knock on the door. I walked over and opened the door. She was wearing a big, baggy T-shirt over some silky pants. Her hair was pulled back in a bun. She was really, truly serious about this. I would have never guessed.

"Sorry that took so long, Harry," she said, "I don't normally sleep in pants." I put my arm around her and led her to my bed. I slid in under the covers first. She sat softly, and then slid perfectly into my arms. We had to be made for each other, she fit perfectly. I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her close. She slid her legs between mine. She was completely surrounded by me. At that point I felt so needed. _She _was cuddling up to _me _for security. She is the only person I will ever, ever love.

"Good night, what ever tomorrow brings, I'll always love you," I said softly to her. A tear rolled down my cheek, but I don't know if I was crying for what I had lost or crying for what I had gained.


	2. A World Regained is a Hope Renewed

**The Boy who Lived as a Muggle **

_A World Regained is a Hope Renewed _

She reached up and wiped the tear from my face. "Harry?"

"Yeah?" I said.

"We could stay in contact, you know," she said softly into my neck. I wrapped my arms around her tighter.

"But Hermione," I started. I couldn't think of anything else to express how I felt. I didn't want to be selfish, taking her to myself when she couldn't physically be with me. What if she wanted to be with somebody physically… most teenagers do. "I want to be able to see you."

"I want to see you too. You have no idea how long I have been putting off telling you how I feel because of fear of messing up our friendship, including Ron's." Ron, how could I forget about Ron?

At the mention of his name he snorted in his sleep; and mumbled, "Who's there?" Hermione's body went stiff inside my arms. We didn't move, we hardly breathed, until we were sure he was asleep.

"I'm too tired to think about this," she said quieter.

"Alright," I started, "Chances are we will see each other in the morning. We can talk about it when we wake up." I kissed her forehead gently.

I awoke with a start, and looked at the clock before I moved. It was 4:37. I wasn't exactly sure what had caused it, but an audible click somewhere in the room had taken place. A moment later, another click light up the room.

There stood Ron, and I wasn't quite sure if he had seen Hermione or not yet. He was simply shielding his eyes as I was from the blaring light. He took two steps toward us.

"Bloody _Hell!_" he said loudly, dropping his hand and running up to the bed.

"Keep it down, will ya?" I hissed quietly. In one quick move, he yanked the covers off the bed. There she was, still snuggled up to me with her head just above my chest. He dropped the covers and stumbled backwards. Hermione didn't wake up.

I jumped up and pulled him to his feet. "_What're you trying to do wake the whole damn house up_?" I regretted these words the second they left my mouth. I didn't want to fight with Ron; I wanted him to accept that Hermione and I had feelings for each other.

He just stared at me, his face showing nothing but pure shock. I raised one of my eyebrows, indicating that I wanted an answer. He brought his lips together, as though trying to hold in an unpleasant belch. But slowly, the corners of his lips curled upward. At last, he couldn't stand it and burst out laughing. Loudly. I clapped a hand over his mouth.

"_If_ you don't mind we are trying to not get caught!" I said in a slightly louder tone so that he could hear me over his hysterical laughter. He sat down on the bed to avoid falling over. Finally, he stopped wiping a tear from his eyes.

"_Well_," he started with a hint of accusation in his voice, "look who's finally hooking up!"

"We aren't hooking up!" I said. "We're just…"

"Just what?" he said with another laugh. "Sleeping together?" This seemed to deeply amuse him, and it through him into another fit of laughter. He seemed to be growing louder with each laugh. It wasn't long until he woke somebody up.

_Quietus! _I thought instinctively in my head. To my utter surprise, although I had no wand nor had ever practiced inverbal spells, it worked. Ron's laughter immediately dropped to a whisper level, before he stopped laughing altogether to find out the cause of his volume drop. He glanced at Hermione, still sleeping, to see if she had been the cause of this sudden jinx upon him. Then, he looked to me. Our mouths were both dropped in shock.

"Did you?" he asked, barely audible. A wide grin crept across my face. I nodded and began laughing. I feel backwards, onto Hermione, who woke with a start.

"Wasgoinon?" she said, half asleep. As her eyes adjusted to the light, and she saw Ron and I laughing together, she relaxed. But Ron's level of volume hadn't changed, and this fact didn't go unnoticed.

"Ron?" she asked, "What's wrong with your voice?"

"Ask Harry!" he said, pointing at me. She scooted to the edge of the bed, her eyes wide and on me.

"Harry? Did you.." she started. Her mouth was still open, but she seemed to be at a loss for words. She shut her mouth, and then opened it again. Finally, she was able to say, "Can I speak to you in private?"

I nodded, and we both got up and left the room.


End file.
